Survival

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Personal Safety If Going Out Alone

People either stand on their own two feet or are parasites. The latter are a threat to the former since the latter choose not to feed themselves without trying to feed off the former. Otherwise the parasites would soon starve.

Proof of the above comes from crime statistics which demonstrate that people will go to extraordinary lengths to earn a living from the earned livings of others. Theft, fraud and assault are typical examples of the irrational behaviours of those who see others as means to ends.

If one values ones life, then one must adopt an ethical code to protect that life - along with the lives of those one also values. Such a code not only informs correct behaviour - to avoid becoming a parasite oneself - but is also the basis for determining the necessary political steps to self-protection.

The threats to consider spring mainly from appearing to be a victim and so becoming one since weak people always prey on those who are also weak. And from a culture that values conformity over indivudalism; meaning that people who dress differently - and so appear different - are seen as threats.

It therefore follows that reducing threats to ones life means becoming strong so as not to become carrion for the weak-minded who wish to feed off your flesh. Reducing the apparent difference between oneself and the majority with which one is surrounded. And avoiding as much contact as possible with the majority if you are a member of a minority and/or a generally-despised group.

Going out by yourself can seem intimidating, even frightening. Many people feel insecure, or unsafe when they go out alone, whether it's on a trip or just to a party. Feeling this way can dampen the enjoyment of going out, and sometimes, stop you going out at all.

There are definitely dangers to be aware of, but you can get around on your own. You can overcome your anxiety about such things and learn to differentiate between real danger and irrational fear or paranoia.

This article assumes you are a woman but if you're a man, there's plenty of useful information in here for you too.

Steps

1. 
   Think about where you are going. What section of town is it? Will there be others there whom you know (friends, acquaintances)? If your destination is in a better section of town - that is, one that is well-lit, not known to be run down or rife with crime - then you are in much better shape going alone. If it's in a not-so-good section of town, think again. Overcoming your fears and anxieties is one thing but taking foolish and unnecessary risks is another. There really is safety in numbers so avoid parts of town where you will be in the minority after dark - and certainly never go there alone. If you are a woman, it is dangerous to go with men you do not know personally. If you are Black in a largely White country, it is dangerous to go with Whites you do not know personally. If you are poor, it is dangerous to go with affluent people you do not know personally.
2. Dress to impress. If
   you're going out with pals, you can wear more risqué or daring outfits
   than if going alone - it's just a fact that with others to watch your
   back, you don't need to worry as much. Choose a fabulous cashmere sweater or business attire dressed up with a great scarf or elegant necklace.
   Calling the wrong sort of attention to yourself when you're on your own
   is not smart. Again, you should consider the type of clothing most
   commonly worn by people in the part of the town you are going to. Try
   to dress similarly to fit in to others and avoid drawing attention to
   yourself as much as possible. If you are wealthy, you should not draw attention to it except by your self-confidence.
3. Make sure your car is in good order. Sounds silly? Not if you have a leaky tire valve. The last thing you need is to come out at two in the morning and find you have a flat. If you're hanging out alone, have a AAA or other roadside emergency service card with you as well as a charged cell phone. Fill your car up with gas
   
   before you leave. Get a can of Fix-A-Flat and put it in the trunk,
   along with a quart of oil and an empty milk jug to carry water in if
   necessary. Just checking to make sure everything is cool before you get
   going is a great step to give you peace of mind before you head out.
4. Tell someone where you are going and how long you plan to stay. You are not "putting yourself on a leash" or "cramping your own style." You're being smart by letting a family member or friend know where - and when - to start looking for you, worrying, etc.
   
   • One good way to go about it is to tell your (for example) mom that you are "going to a party at Steve's house in Agoura this Saturday." You don't need to provide a GPS
     tracker, but it's smart to leave a MapQuest or Google map of your
     planned route. Tell your mom you will call when you're on your way
     home. Call Steve and tell him you're on your way as you are leaving the
     house. This way, if you don't arrive at the party, hopefully Steve will
     remember that you called to tell him you were coming, and will call
     your mom. Now, both parties realize that you left and never arrived at
     your destination - it gives them a faster start on finding you.
   • If you left a map of your route, mom can alert the authorities to
     search along that route - your probli may be as simple as a flat tire
     or as serious as a crash,
     with you and your car in a ditch, and a dead cell phone battery -
     telling someone where you planned to be will help them find you much
     quicker. Conversely, if you call mom and tell her that you are in your
     car and leaving the party at 10pm, she will know that if you have not
     arrived by midnight, she should begin to worry. Cell phones have taken
     a lot of these worries away, because it's a simple matter to call most
     of the time.
   • If your cell phone
     dies, or if you leave it at the party, or it is stolen, lost, or
     otherwise does not work, you have left word with people who will
     definitely become concerned after only an hour or two if you don't show
     up - it won't be half the night before someone even realizes you never
     showed up where you were supposed to. Knowing you have taken these
     simple precautions can boost your confidence significantly. Buy a cell phone and make sure it is on and set to vibrate for the entire time you are out - and fully-charged beforehand. Never use your cell phone out-of-doors - except in an emergency - since you then cease to be aware of your surroundings while using it.
5. Be alert and aware of your surroundings.
   Before you get out of your car, think about where you have parked. Is
   it well-lit, easy to see from the street? This is the best place to
   park if alone. Avoid parking in dark alleys or very far away from the
   door of your destination. Remember where you parked - this is very
   important. Mentally map your path to the door of the place you're
   going, take note of anyone on the street,
   and gather your things quickly. Upon leaving your car, check carefully
   that it is locked and you have left nothing enticing (like a laptop bag or an iPod)
   in plain view. Walk purposefully - do not meander - directly to the
   door and enter immediately. Lingering on the street is not a good idea,
   it allows potential attackers to see that you are alone. Keep anyone
   you noticed out on the street in your mind, and in the corner of your
   eye, if possible. Being aware of the people around you is key to your safety. Do not talk on your cell phone - it will distract you.
6. Learn how to defend yourself. It's important to remember that you do not have to suddenly earn a black belt in karate or carry a knife around with you - but if you're generally insecure when you go out alone, knowing that you can take care of yourself can reassure you greatly. Train your senses so you will feel like you can look after yourself - be more observant, so that you will know if something is about to happen. If you travel or live in risky or dangerous areas, learn how to block punches, or think of how to avoid harmful incidents. Developing a more street smart attitude may seem silly, or pointless, but the simple knowledge that you can protect yourself will increase your confidence. Learn the use of firearms as well and be prepared to use them when necessary.
7. Get inside quickly, and once inside, relax and enjoy yourself responsibly.
   Remember that there is no designated driver - you're it. Be aware of
   what you are drinking. Do not leave your drink unattended for any
   reason. If someone buys you a drink, make sure you watch the bartender
   pour it. If you suspect your drink has been compromised, do NOT drink
   it. Don't get drunk! If you do get drunk, don't plan on going home without calling a taxi or relative to collect you. But the rule here is not to get drunk since you cannot defend yourself from attack when you are. The inventor of alcohol was a fool who needed solace and those who copy him are just as stupid. Take a tip from the Muslims and the Hindus - just say 'No!'
8. Avoid sharing too much information with any stranger. Don't be naive and trust someone you do not know. The people you meet may be very nice people, or they may be not
   
   very nice; it's easy to make an accurate judgement in just one
   meeting so long as your instincts are well-honed and have been accurate in the past. The issue here is to judge by behaviour and not appearance since the former is a more accurate guide to character. If you get talking to a stranger look out for contradictions that reveal something to hide since no-one hides the good about themselves but the bad. Do not mention that you came alone. Say you are waiting for
   friends to arrive or someone is picking you up soon. If you meet
   someone you think is nice so far, make plans to meet in a coffee shop, at a restaurant, or at an amusement park, rather than giving out your home address or place of work. Giving out your cell phone number
   is okay if you want to. The main idea is that you take time to really
   know this person in order to objectively verify ones first impression. Over time, this has the added bonus of letting you know how accurate your first impressions are.
9. Remember that good people are like sunny days - there are lots of them.
   
   Just because you're being careful doesn't mean you need to be afraid
   that everyone is out there thinking about how to get one over on you. however, you should be prepared to be that unusual statistic who lands themselves in trouble. The only way to do this is honesty about oneself which makes it easier to judge others. Because human beings are identical - in essence - the more you know about yourself, the more you know about everyone else. This knowledge is invaluable in survival situations.
10. Relax and be yourself.
    You won't have a good time if you don't relax. Once you've reached your
    destination, settle in and resolve to have a good time, no matter what.
    Most large gatherings turn out to be groups of small gatherings -
    people tend to group together in smaller clusters, even if there are
    loads of people in one place. Hang back a bit and "lurk", listening for
    the kinds of people you would like to know as you overhear their conversations.
    Try not to be obvious - just hang there, looking like you are
    interested in someone outside that group (so that they don't get that
    you're listening in.) Once you're sure you'd like to meet these people,
    wait for an opportunity - one of them says something like, "I loved
    _______ movie." (Assuming it's one you also loved) Quickly turn and
    say, "I hope you'll excuse me, but I couldn't help overhearing - I
    loved that movie, too - wasn't it great? I love
    (actor/actress/director) - I'll see anything s/he is involved in." This
    is a little feeler, a way of seeing if you will be welcomed or rebuffed.
11. Feel welcomed. The
    response you get from your little "barometer reading" (a way to sort of
    test the weather in the group - are they warm and welcoming, or cold
    and aloof?) will tell you everything you need to know: If the response
    is, "Yeah, wasn't that great? I loved every minute of it..." or
    something to that effect, you're in. You can now just pick up and chat
    about that, and hopefully, stick with them for a little while, making
    conversation as it flows naturally. Be sure you get an email address or a MySpace
    
    or Facebook address so that you can stay in touch. If you do this, you
    can wait a day or two, then send an email or a Facebook message saying,
    "It was great to meet you the other night - maybe we can go to a movie
    sometime!" Keep it short and leave it at that - don't stalk them. On
    the other hand, if you are not welcomed ...
12. Feel unwelcome. Some cliques
    are pretty tight and hard to penetrate. That's okay - don't take it
    personally. If you try to interject and get in on the fun they're
    having, but they give you a bad look or say, "Uhhh... yeah." and then
    let it drop like a bomb, just shrug it off and move on - they may look
    like fun, but if they're not nice people, they're not what you wanted
    anyhow. Blow it off and try again somewhere else.
13. Brush up on your conversation skills. And while we're at it, it doesn't hurt to have interesting things to talk about
    
    - if you don't know about anything and/or can't talk knowledgeably
    about a variety of subjects, it makes you pretty dull. There's not a
    lot to say if you don't know anything about current events (news, politics), pop culture (movies, TV, books),
    or other interesting subjects. Inform yourself about things going on in
    the world, and find ways to discuss them without seeming like a boring
    know-it-all. It's a fine line - nothing to say = dull, no personality. Too much to say = obnoxious,
    overbearing conversation hog. Remember that conversation is an art,
    like a dance - you say something, then let them say something.
14. Leave knowing that you made a new friend or acquaintance. It's a good feeling to leave having had a fun conversation with someone new, or with someone's phone number
    
    in your pocket, a new Facebook friend. But if you don't, never fear -
    you can always try again! The more times you go out and try, the better
    you will be at fending for yourself in these social situations, and as your skills grow, so will your contact list. Give it time.
15. Preparing to leave, take a close read of the street and then go straight to your car, then home.
    Alone. If the guard or bouncer, or a group of other women you have met,
    offer to walk you to your car, take them up on it. It is safer if such strangers are of the same gender or age or culture as yourself since they have less to gain from exploiting you. At the very least,
    let someone know that you're going home now, and ask them to watch you
    till you get in your car. Take a look around - know who is on the
    street with you, and if you see an alley between you and your car, walk
    in the middle of the street if necessary to give yourself plenty of
    room to move if you need to. Walk purposefully and confidently to your
    car, and when you get there, have your keys
    ready and unlock the car as you are taking your last steps toward it.
    Get in, and lock the doors immediately, buckle up, start your car and
    drive away. Don't sit in your car fixing your make-up or fiddling with
    your iPod or texting someone - get going.
16. Congratulate yourself - you did it! Being aware of yourself, your surroundings and being confident will help you survive. You've just realized you can go places on your own and survive - you can meet new friends, and have great times without
    waiting to tag along with others.

Tips

1. Do Not help strangers. Any fracas that you see might just be a setup to rob you. Call the police, if you must, and give as much detail as you can but do not get involved - you could become a victim.
2. People who have the intent to rob or assault others often look for
   easy targets - nervous types, retiring types, or people just wandering
   and not really paying attention to their surroundings. Standing tall
   and walking with purpose, being obviously aware of who and what are on
   the street with you makes you look confident - not an easy target.
3. Many assaults, car-jackings, robberies, and homicidal attacks are
   carried out on women sitting in their cars fumbling with money,
   make-up, or their radios. Often, the doors are unlocked and the
   attacker just slides right in. Don't make yourself this kind of target.
   Instead, have your stuff together, get locked in, buckled up and on
   your way. You can fiddle with your iPod at the next red light.
4. Think about making an emergency kit for your car. Having
   some Fix-A-Flat, some motor oil, brake fluid, and automatic
   transmission fluid (which can also be used as power steering fluid in
   many cars) can save your whole night. If you add a couple of bottles of
   water and a can of peanut butter or trail mix, it could even save your
   life if you got into a serious jam. Other great items: emergency
   blanket (very small, can fit in your back pocket when folded, but
   reflects your body heat back to you and can keep you warm if you get
   stuck in bad weather and can't start your car or use your heater);
   survival knife - good sized blade, windshield smasher, seat belt
   slicer; hand crank flashlight and a few lightsticks. Get one of those
   nice organizing containers large enough to hold all your stuff, pack it
   in your trunk, and just forget about it. Unless you really need it -
   then you'll be so glad you were prepared!
5. Attract the right kind of attention - not the wrong kind.
   Dressing in sexy, provocative attire, or wearing a lot of jewelery may
   be cool once inside, but before you get to your destination, it's not
   going to attract the kind of attention you want. Cover it up! Once
   you're in, you can let it out, but remember to cover it again before
   leaving!
6. Be smart - don't insist on going if there's an obvious
   probli. If your car is hard to start or makes you feel nervous, if you
   aren't feeling all that well, or if your mind is very focused on a
   probli, don't go. You want to have a good time, not put yourself in a
   dangerous situation. If there is an obvious trouble sign, stay home
   with a book. Go out once the probli has been addressed instead.

Warnings:

1. Don't count money or check ID's on the street - that's an invitation to rob you. Stay alert and don't distract yourself while out on the street.
2. Don't space out when you're alone. Remember there is no one to depend upon but yourself. Stay alert and keep your wits about you at all times.
3. Avoid carrying items you cannot afford to lose.

Related wikiHows:

1. How to Identify and Avoid Predators

Article copyright © 2009 Frank TALKER. Permission granted to reproduce and distribute it in any format; provided that mention of the author’s Weblog (http://franktalker.blogspot.com/) is included: E-mail notification requested. All other rights reserved. Frank TALKER is also the author of Sweaty Socks: A Treatise on the Inevitability of Toe Jam in Hot Weather (East Cheam Press: Groper Books, 1997) and is University of Bullshit Professor Emeritus of Madeupology.